west kowloon cultural district, the master plans, the maze, and the vanishing tour

the govt begins today the 2nd phase of its "public engagement exercise" on the development of west kowloon cultural district. i've seen in the news brief introduction on the 3 master plans put forward by foster & partners, OMA & Rocco Yim. keen to find out more, i went to the website of West Kowloon District authority. so there i was, swimming through a sea of official speeches, uesless info, FAQs, pictures of govt officials attending kick-off ceremony, etc.

after some sort of treasure-hunting, there i finally found something nearly as close as what i intended to find, under "newsroom"-> "press release":

"The Conceptual Plan Options will be presented to the public in the form of scale models, interactive 3D models, photomontages and animated videos. They will be available for viewing and comment during a series of exhibitions across the territory, public forums as well as on the Authority’s website. Interested public may also join guided tours to learn more about the three plans. For more information on the event calendar and how to participate, please visit www.wkcda.hk."

isn't that where i'm already standing?? www.wkcda.hk??? did i miss them altogether? the 3D models? interactive stuff? vids?? ok, let's do it all over again. your best guess, under whcih category do you think the 3 master plans are hiding?

"what's new"? (hmm.. could be)
"background of wkcd"? (no way)
"about wkcda"? (do u really wanna know?)
"public engagement exercise"? (possible....)
"organizational structure & manpower plan"? (what the hell is that??)
"meetings"? (of what? with whom??)
"newsroom"? (didn't i just go there?)
"publications"? (na...)
"useful information"? (useful? did i hear useful??)
"multimedia gallery"? (suspicious........)
"FAQ"? (i do hv a question in mind, where do i find the......oh, nevermind)
"job opportunities"? (hahahaha)
"tender notices"? (oh, give me a break!)
"related links"? (kinda curious what they can be....)

for time saving, let me walk you out of the maze.
you should go "public engagment exercse"-> "stage 2 PE exercise"->and there you will be presented with 8 subcategoes. ignore the other 7 options and click "conceptual plan options"
and THERE YOU ARE!!!!

and it would have been very kind of me if i told you earlier that actually: the vid- won't play, the interactive models- doesn't work, the presentation panels- those words too small to read

unless i want you to also scream the same burning questions:

WHERE THE FUCK IS "THE SERIES OF EXHIBITIONS TOURING THE TERRITORY"???
(OF COURSE, APART FROM SEEING IN YOUR SPEECH)WHERE THE FUCK DO I SEE THE "3D MODELS, INTERACTIVE VIDS?
WHERE? WHERE? AND WHERE??????

what do i do? do i wait somewhere within 'the territory' for the exhibitions to arrive?

nineteenth of august

unlike its counterparts in the past 4 years, this day, the nineteenth of august, went by unremarkably.

or so it seems.

I would describe today as more than a mere ‘discomfort’. If I had a choice, I want to erase this particular day from the calendar. but the sad truth is, much against my will, I still have to report to work today. It even amazed me how I managed to serve a marathon 9.5-hour term.

indeed why I have to bear all this on my own, while I know my birthday is not going to inflict any impact on you? precisely, why should I feel like shit on your birthday?

Is it because I am no longer the first person to say happy birthday at 12am? Is it because I no longer make a fuss about how to celebrate and what gift I should get you? Is it because I somehow know that you will celebrate with a special someone other than me?

They may all be true.

Try putting it another way-

You no longer have me to say the first happy birthday at 12am. You no longer have some silly girl who makes a fuss about making sure you are happy on your birthday by getting the right restaurant and gift. You no longer celebrate your birthday with me.

I am beginning to see that this day is never special on its own. It was only my subjective will and conscious effort to make it special for you. on the twenty-sixth of may, when destiny took one of its most unexpected & terrible turn, your birthday is already doomed to lose its magical capacity. And now, with every bit of my will power, I withdraw all the importance once immensely assigned on this day.

The nineteenth of august will return to where it once belong, an unremarkable, uneventful day on the calendar.

karma

today, for some reasons, i started contemplating on the concept of karma. by the end of the day, i wanted to tell you that what goes around comes around.... twice as hard.... and i hope you happen to enjoy pain.
but then before i can gain any pleasure from karma paying you a visit (and when will that be, anyway?), i became so occupied with anger and the idea of revenge. i wished you would work away your life with nothing and grow old alone. how i hope to see you fall....... i think i am taking the whole thing out of proportion.
at the attempt to give myself some inner peace, i turned to alain de botton's essays in love. it goes like this: however unfortunate rejection may be, can we really equate loving with selflessness, and rejection with cruelty, can we really equate love with goodness and indifference with evil?
we all understand what de botton is leading to. and this is perhaps some philosophical food for thought, if i have not recently broke up.
along the rational line, i should know anger does not entitle me to blame anyone. and afterall, who has the right to demand to be loved?
though i have, to myself, everything explained, analysed and turned into past tense, it is still far away from close case. as much as i understand the old cliche that to forgive others is to forgive onself, i still hope that the separation inflict as much, if not more, damage to you as it did to me.

i hope you can't sleep tonight, or wake up with a shock in the middle of the night

yes, i was going to scream at you and throw it back at your face.
exept i didn't cuz i was too occupied crying.

and i did think about mailing you back the money.
but then i thought i'd rather spend it.
actually i didn't, the two twenty dollar notes still lying on my desk.

that's three level of my consciousness working simultaneously

how many times i told myself, the guy doesn't love the girl and he breaks up with her- end of story. i need to move on. but what does it take to move on?

i want to erase that part of my memory. can i have them extracted?

i must hv been living in dreams but the feelings are so real.